When ur hair won’t listen to you and its a mess and ur just like ???? I grew you myself??? I gave you life and this is how you repay me??
is that how parents feel
*points to bedroom* This is where we frick frack.
*points to kitchen* This is where we snick snack.
*points to living room* This is where we kick back.
*points to bathroom* This is where we shit shat.
*points to couch* This is where we chit chat.
*points to computer* This is where we click clack.
*points to shelf* This is where weknick knack.
*points to sex dungeon* This is where we paddy-whack.
What a truly awful website this is
When I was three it was the first time you caught my eye.
I remember going from the pre-k room into elementary for piano lessons, and I would be nervous because I knew you were in there.
I wanted to see you, but thought I might implode before I did.
When I was in 3rd grade, you were on your last year at our school. I wanted nothing more than to hold hands with you on the playground. The next year, I missed seeing you. Maybe I was only 9, but I knew there wouldn’t be anyone like you there again.
In middle school, when I found out your best friend went to my new school, I often wondered how you were. If he still saw you, if you were happy, if you thought about me.
It had been fifteen years since I last saw you. Until last week.
Nobody expects their first (and very long-term) crush to admit that they had their first crush on you, take you on dates, say perfect things, be absolutely stunning, charming, turn their world completely upside down 15 years later. I never would’ve imagined. This was absolutely never going to happen.
Now I’m finding that youre exactly what I’ve thought you were for 20 years, which is nothing short of amazing.
I can’t wait to see where this goes, its already better than any fairy tale.
This is apparently a lubricant ad. Just let the reality of the image sink in for a moment.
WHY WOULD ANYONE THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA
IT TOOK ME A MINUTE AND NOW OH MY GOD
i’m like wtf are they say-HOLY SHIT
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I don’t get it. Are they saying she created the ocean? That lubrication is peaceful? What is this ad trying to say? Look, I swear, I don’t understand this and it is making me feel like—
OH SWEET JESUS PLEASE NO WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK.
Wait, what’s everyone freaking out about? I don’t get it—
OH MY GOD.
I was gonna reblog it like “I don’t get it someone help” and then
YAS BITCH NEW WEAVE!!!! 22 INCHES!!!!!! YAAAAS!!!!
NEW WEAVE!!! 22INCHEs!!!!!
I just want someone who will kiss me when I’m mad and lets me cry in front of them and buys me pizza and watches scary movies with me and holds my hand real tight even if it’s sweaty and thinks I’m beautiful no matter what I look like and lets me steal their sweaters so I can sleep with their smell on my skin and who laughs at the same things I do and just never lets me go, no matter how hard I try to push them away.
And here we see a majestic wild mop without a handle frolicking on a beach…